Like Father Like Sons Part 2: The Victimization of the Innocent

Like Father like Sons (Part 2):

The Victimization of the Innocent

2 Samuel 13:19-20

In the story, we see Tamar trapped (vv. 5-11), ignored (vv. 14a, 16b), raped (v. 14b), despised (v. 15), banished (v. 17), and ruined (vv. 18-19, 20b). We must do what Amnon did not do: listen to Tamar.

Tamar lived in Absalom's household, and one word summed up her life: 'desolate', or as another commentator put it, 'laid waste'.

The writer wants to win your sympathies for Tamar. Deuteronomy 22:25-26

What is shame? Shame is the deep sense that you are unacceptable because of something you did, something done to you, or something associated with you.

A violent assault awakens some of the most painful, horrifying emotions that humans are capable of. Terror, shock, unbearable pain, overwhelming helplessness, and vulnerability. David Powlison

Numbness: Life can feel unreal

Fear: memories, of being alone, flashbacks

Worry: std’s, pregnancy

Anger: this is expected but it can be difficult to not let it turn into bitterness

Relationships: it will be hard to trust again

Shame: It is common to feel a deep sense of shame and uncleanness though you are the victim.

Regret and self blame: Victims think “If only” I did this or did not do this.

Depression: sadness that will not go away

Escapism: try to forget or soak it in drugs, alcohol, food, TV

Pain: Pain: Pain

Steps to healing:

-          Face what happened: reality, and understand that God is there (Ps 46:1)

-          You need to face your reactions such as grief, hurt, confusion, fear, and anger (Ps 55:4)

-          Face Jesus: Invite him to walk with you in your struggle (Isaiah 43:2).

-          Jesus was violated, innocent, and suffered at the hands of evil people. He knows how you feel.

-          Trust God will redeem these broken experiences in time (Geneses 50:20)

-          Trust that God will use you to encourage others who go through similar experiences:

-          Proclaim the first tier of forgiveness: What the attacker did was wrong, big, and should be punished. This simply means you must choose not to seek personal retaliation for your benefit. (1 peter 2)

Jesus touch:

Throughout His ministry, Jesus often showed grace and identity with those experiencing shame by a simple “touch.”

2 Resources:

*Sexual Assault: Healing Steps for Victims by David Powlison

* Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection by Edward T. Welch.